Why You Shouldn’t File Your Own Divorce

Can you handle your own divorce? Maybe. Was your marriage short, with no children or assets? Do you have plenty of free time to look up things in a legal library, find out how and where to get the forms you need, and go to court? In this case, you might be able to file for divorce yourself.

But in most circumstances, filing for divorce is messy, complicated, and fraught with emotion. You don’t need the added stress of trying to get all the paperwork right. Here are 10 times you definitely need a divorce attorney to help you file for divorce:

  1. filing for divorceYou have a child under 18
  2. Your marriage lasted longer than a year or two
  3. You’re already arguing about how to split things up
  4. Child, domestic, drug, or alcohol abuse is a factor
  5. You think your spouse is hiding assets from you
  6. You’re in a same-sex marriage
  7. You and your spouse own a business together
  8. One of you is bankrupt, or together you have more than $15,000 in debt
  9. One of you is in the military
  10. Together, your assets total $30,000 or more (house, car, etc.)

DIY Divorce Might Actually Cost You More

People consider DIY divorce to save money, but it can actually cost you more if you make a mistake. Do you want to risk messing up your child’s financial well-being, or your taxes, for the next decade? If your divorce isn’t extremely straightforward, a unhappy couple after fightdivorce lawyer will be an invaluable help. You cannot possibly know every consequence of every action taken in a divorce, but this is what we are trained to think about.

The truth is, there are a lot of forms to fill out, and they’re confusing. This isn’t something simple like buying a car. If you make an error or miscalculate something, it could have unintended financial consequences, whether it’s paying too much to your ex for spousal or child support or not getting your fair share of property. It could even have more serious consequences, like giving you less quality time with your children than you otherwise would have gotten. Whatever your final agreements are, you’ll be legally bound to carry them out — even if you find down the road that they aren’t fair. Have you considered absolutely everything, including who will pay for your two-year-old’s college, and how retirement funds factor in?

Mistakes mean you’ll have to go back to court and invest more time and money in this process. A divorce lawyer will ensure you get it right the first time.

How a Divorce Lawyer Helps

Although this may be your first divorce and everything is new and overwhelming, this is far from our first divorce case. The attorneys at Holtey Law in Portland practice family law exclusively and have handled hundreds of divorce cases over the years. We’re experts at helping our clients through this process. We know the latest developments in divorce law, and we know what to expect from the court system, particularly in the tri-county area. We often work with mediators and other professionals to help our clients resolve their disputes amicably, but we are not afraid to take a case to trial if the situation calls for it.

Let Us Help You

You shouldn’t have to go through one of life’s hardest experiences alone. We want to help you get through your divorce with your dignity and finances intact. Contact us today to get help filing your divorce.

Call 503-224-9878 or email

I Have Been Served Divorce Papers. What Now?

What do I do if I have been served divorce paperwork by my spouse, or I know he or she has filed or will file for divorce?

You have only 30 days to Respond

Once you have been served, you have 30 days to file a Response with the court. In a divorce action, this deadline is more important than ever. While not so long ago, there was a 90-day waiting period in divorce cases, which has been done away with. What this means is that if you fail to file a Response, your spouse could proceed with having the divorce finalized, obtaining all his or her requested relief on that 31st day.

It is highly recommended that within the first 10 days of being served that you consult with an experienced attorney specializing in family law.

Initial Prep Work

Begin gathering basic financial information, including

  • last couple years’ tax returns
  • current paystubs
  • recent statements for retirement and investment accounts
  • credit card statements

If you have access to it, gather this information for your spouse’s accounts as well. Bring whatever you have had time to gather to that first appointment with your attorney, along with all of the documents you were served with.

Property Restraining Order

Once you have been served with divorce papers, an automatic property restraining order goes into place (ORS 107.089). Some of the rules are straightforward: do not remove your spouse as a beneficiary on any life insurance accounts, for instance. Others are more complicated, such as whether you are restrained from buying a new car or transferring money from a joint savings account. You will want to ask your attorney about what you are permitted to do.

Joint Accounts

If you share joint financial accounts with your spouse, watch them carefully. If your spouse were to suddenly withdraw a large amount of funds, for instance, you may be advised to obtain a specific property restraining order. If you have joint accounts online, print off the last two years’ of account activity. We recommend this in case your spouse later cuts off your online access.

Telling the Children

“Above all, put your child first. Remember: you can love your kids or hate your spouse… but you cannot do both.”
-Natalie Gregg

In cases of divorce, speak with your spouse about how to share the news of the divorce with the children if you haven’t already.  Make promises to each other about not bad-talking the other parent to the children or trying to manipulate them in the process.